Newsletter from Jay Wilcox - September 2019: On the Convenient "Other" and Being All Up in Someone's Face

Good morning/afternoon/evening!

My friend's a vegan, but he's not all up in your face about it.

He's the cool kind of vegan--the kind who doesn't bother people in a McDonald's or make them feel bad for eating bacon. In fact, he doesn't talk about his convictions even a little bit. He loves animals almost as much as he loves putting people at ease.

He's also gay, but he totally doesn't shove it down your throat. He drinks beer and doesn't talk about his love life, doesn't dress different or sound like a gay person. I can't stress enough that he drinks beer. Like a regular guy.

You know who I'm talking about?

Either you've met this guy or have passed by his hiding place--a small, inoffensive cubby along society's back wall. We so often judge people who are different by their ability to not be "annoying," and the hegemony loves assimilation almost as much as self-deprecation: convenient "others" incapable of umbrage.

"I don't have a problem with anyone being gay," the straight male voter proclaimed. "Just don't shove it down my throat."

Now, I'm not saying one must shove things down people's throats. But who are we, to tell others what to keep out of our windpipes? And are our faces such protected spaces that nothing must ever "get all up in" them? Most sensory organs are on or around our faces, so dare we demand another's invisibility by staying away?

"She's a feminist, but she's cool. She doesn't beat you over the head with it."

"He's black, but he can take a joke and doesn't ever make fun of white people. He's not sensitive or political."

My friend apologizes for a life he'll never risk living. He's a cool vegan and would laugh politely if you labeled that an oxymoron--or if you asked whether or not he misses bacon. It took a long time for him to talk honestly with me about his lifestyle. To explain that a pig could feel as much pain and terror as a dog and could outperform small children in intelligence tests. To show me the footage of chicks in cramped cages with clipped beaks, broken wings.

Be your damn self.

Those who agitate you will proselytize anyway. So go get in someone's face, if that's what's in your heart.

Infinite Regards,

Jay