Newsletter from Jay Wilcox, January 2019: On Cues and Signals

Good morning/afternoon/evening!

Ever been about to fall asleep and then remember, like, forty cringe-y moments from your past? My computer doesn't recognize "cringey" as a word, so I type it as "cringe-y" to fly under spellcheck's radar. Maybe it's fitting that this word has to pull itself apart in order to fit in alongside other, more socially-acceptable words.

Reading people and situations is like reading a book. A new reader goes along letter by letter, sound by sound. Eventually, they learn to read whole words at a time. Phrases and even sentences soon coalesce into instantly-identifiable units. In social interaction, we string together tiny, subconscious cues, and the fluent derive meaning.

Social anxiety is real. There is so much to read in any given situation, and it's hard to read well if you still have to sound things out. To continue this metaphor: whereas the charismatic deal in clauses, the most anxious among us dwell on spelling.

Am I smiling?

Am I smiling too much?

Is iT wEirD if ThEy dOn'T SmiLE baCk?

Almost every social interaction, even if it's with someone I like a whole lot, calls for a deep breath first. I would bet that even some social butterflies agree.

I am fully capable of becoming such a butterfly. 

I enjoy conversation. I guess you could say I enjoy conversation so much that I host endless debates in my head, practicing witticisms and deflection and justification for my life decisions. In all seriousness, though, I do enjoy socializing. I also enjoy exercising, even though it makes me break a sweat. All things in balance and moderation.

Maybe it's telling that my novel is about a guy who hides out in an attic. #MusicForParasites

It bears mentioning that some people seem to take so much pride in being introverts that they almost appear disdainful of the extroverted. Being an "introvert" doesn't inherently make someone interesting or deep. Writing angsty novels makes someone interesting and deep. 

Infinite Regards,

Jay

P.S. - You're awesome for reading this and subscribing. In the name of good conversation, you're welcome but not obligated to write back.