Newsletter from Jay Wilcox - April 2020: On Thinking You're Smart

Good morning/afternoon/evening,

I tried to get hypnotized in my freshman year of college. The hypnotist took the stage in the school's auditorium and picked me from the crowd as one of ten volunteers. I believed in hypnotism and wanted this to work--and when it didn't, a tech politely ushered me away while the other volunteers clucked like chickens and jumped invisible rope.

Have you ever felt disappointed and smug at the same time? Sure, I had wanted to be hypnotized--but the fact that it hadn't worked confirmed my self-image as a Rational person, a freethinker impervious to manipulation. After all, hadn't I always been an Honors student?

The next year, I joined a cult.

I didn't see it as a cult, of course. Smart people like me didn't join cults. The friend who pitched it described the meetings as "Bible Study," and having been long-absent from church, I agreed to tag along. In a room that smelled like onions and heat--the "study group" all cooked and ate together, and it was almost dinner time--the church's deacon helped reexamine stories I'd grown up hearing. We read the Bible together, passages I'd never heard before, and everything he said made sense. This was what church of my youth could have been--equal parts question and answer, problem and practical solution. This was Christianity for smart people.

I could rattle off some of the things this cult believed--things meted out as inoculating, indoctrinating dosages--but that feels beside the point, which is that I am not above manipulation. None of us are. In fact, self-proclaimed "smart" people can be some of the most easily warped. Worship the gates around your faculties and you risk worshiping anything clever enough to sneak through.

I left the cult after about a month. I'd broken their cardinal rule, which was "Thou Shalt Not Check Out Our Wikipedia Page." Plus, the fact that they constantly asked for money and made me believe my family would burn in hell was a bit of a drag.

What made me do the extra research?

Was it because I'm a "smart" person? If you think that might have been the case--that I researched because I was just too inquisitive to swallow hooks, lines, and sinkers--I raise you this: Why did I join the cult in the first place? Why did I let them baptize me in their shower? During that month of my life, I bought in hard, preaching to my loved ones God's TRUE intentions.

"Huh. Turns out he's dumb," some readers might say. "I would never join a cult. I'm an atheist."

Look, we all worship something. In This Is Water, David Foster Wallace contends that the most insidious objects of our piety are those we don't admit to--our intelligence, for instance, or even just our own media-savvy and critical thinking. False prophets see our strings and take hold. 

We can be made to buy and believe and do things that would shock our past selves, bent beyond imagination and recognition. Consider "charm" a verb and not a noun--and if you think you're impervious, remember: the unthinkable loves the untouchable, and the best brainwashing will leave you feeling smarter than everyone else.

Anything can happen to anyone, so please take care. Stay healthy. Thank you for reading.

Infinite Regards,

Jay